你是否还在殚精竭虑地为孩子规划未来，从生活到学习到未来的职业和家庭？看看这篇，你是否会退后一步，稍稍放手呢？
翻译：Emma Qi
Do your kids desire different things because of their lifestyles than you do? Many of us have kids that are adults and they might be doing things with their lives which you never planned – what are you able to do about it? Your years of knowledge can fall on deaf ears in this situation.
有没有想过，孩子们之所以渴望尝试新鲜的事物，是因为他们的生活方式与你的截然不同呢？孩子们已成年，或许他们此时正在经历的事情、他们所经营的生活，是完全在你的计划之外的——面对这样的局面，你会怎么办？要知道，你的“经验之谈”，有时可能完全不会被孩子们所采纳！
You thought that you had it all figured out
你以为你已经想通了
You may have gone to school and worked your way into a vocation early in your adulthood. Perhaps you were young in an era when it was normal to think that having and taking care of a home would be the American desire. The dream was to purchase a fixer-upper, work on it, sell it and use the money earned to pay for 50% of your next house. After a few years you use that income to pay for your next house and sell your second house.
你年轻的时候，可能毕业之后就去打工了，在那个时代，房子，或许便是当时美国人普遍的梦想。购入一幢正待修缮的房子，好好打理一番，转手卖个好价钱，用挣来的钱就可以付掉下一套房子一半的价格了！几年之后再卖掉它，所挣的钱完全可以支付下一套房子所有的费用！
You built that purpose and worked your way toward it. You began your household and committed to a good person. But when your kids grow up, they have different plans than continuing your dream.
你为自己建立了这个目标并为之努力奋斗，你开始组建家庭，并承诺一定要做一个好人。慢慢的，在你的孩子们的成长过程中，他们也会建立属于他们自己的梦想，却不是在你的梦想上顺势而行。
Your children might not share your idea of the future
你的孩子可能不会认同你对未来的看法
Well it is a new time, and also the guidelines have changed. This era has fresh suggestions and honestly, no matter if they are good plans or not, today people have to make changes in order to survive in a global economy which doesn’t work the same way it had previously.
这是一个全新的时代，所有的一切都在发生着改变。许多新奇的想法在这个时代应运而生，坦率的说，不管孩子们的计划是否是完美的，这个时代的人们都必须做出改变了。全球经济大环境发生了翻天覆地的变革，唯有改变，才能够适应新的市场经济体制，才能够在当下的环境中得以生存。
Your tips are not outdated, but this generation is not hearing them, in the same manner they were heard by your generation. Your children will probably head to university; nevertheless they might wish to accomplish something outside of what they studied in the university when they move out. This could not be what you expected them to do, after all you have sacrificed and saved for their schooling so that they might have a nice career.
你的建议虽算不上落伍，但这一代人却不怎么认同，正如你们也不认同孩子们的想法一样。孩子们在大学里接受教育，然而当他们走向社会后，他们或许也想做些有别于校园里所学的事情，而这些却并不是你最初期许的，毕竟你供他们上学，是希望他们能有一个不错的职业生涯。
It might not be easy to accept that after acquiring their 4 year building engineering degree they want to work-in a floral store and learn how to arrange flowers.
试想一下，在孩子们刻苦学习了四年，终于获得建筑工程学位后，他们却告诉你想去花店工作，学习插花，这确实是件不太容易接受的事情！
Accept that it’s a new world
接受吧！这是一个崭新的世界
You’ve raised your kids to think in certain ways, hoping that they could learn from your errors. You made an effort to make their lives easier, so that they don’t have the tough problems to sort out. The stark reality is this is not just a new generation of adults; this is also a new millennium and a new world. Technology makes wishes come true which you could only dream about 30 years ago. You’ll find jobs that were not available when you were growing up which are really tempting.
虽然你的初衷是好的，想让孩子们以你的方式思考问题，从你的错误经历中汲取经验，从而少走点弯路，让生活轻松点。可现实是，他们不仅仅是新一代的年轻人，他们还处在一个前所未有的时代，一个崭新的世界里。科技让你30年前的梦想变成现实，你会忽然发现，那些你小时候根本还没出现的工作，是多么的吸引人。
This generation has a very different notion of what living really is about. Being focused on an long term career with hopes of retiring in the same firm is no longer an ideal anymore. If this is your policy for your child, give it up. Individuals are sometimes looking for a new career as they get bored by the present one.
关于生活，这一代人有着截然不同的看法。老一辈专注于铁饭碗的职业生涯，已不再是这代人的理想。如果你依然想要灌输给孩子这样的思想，趁早还是放弃吧，对于这一代人来说，当工作失去吸引力的时候，他们会去寻找新的机会，而不会停滞在原地。
In case your kid would rather rent a residence, and live from pay check to pay check then that is the way he will live. Homeownership is not all young adults’ aim for. An expensive vehicle or traveling could be what they really desire. Saving for college of their future kids may not possibly be considered as a part of the plan. Frankly having kids may possibly not be in their agenda at all.
假若你的孩子宁愿拿出部分工资去租房住，接受吧，那就是他想要的生活。房子已不再是这一代年轻人向往和奋斗的目标。反而一辆拉风的汽车或潇洒的旅行可能才是他们真正想要的。 为下一代存钱供他们上大学或许已不是他们生活目标的一部分了，坦白说，就连生孩子这件事说不定都根本不在他们的日程上。
The important thing is that they’re happy
重要的是，他们是快乐的
Don’t place all your expectations and aspirations into planning your kids’s life. If they move off your path, you begin to worry, then you begin the lecturing and soon they stop coming over for Sunday dinner. Observing your children growing up within this new planet is not likely to be easy. But keep in mind that disappointment is just a part of achievement and although you wish they had designed their life really differently, they’re living their very own perfect life.
千万别把你所有的期许都建立在替孩子规划生活这件事上。如果他们不按你的套路出牌，你就开始担心、责问，那么紧接着，每周日的家庭晚餐上，你就很难看到他们的身影了！默默的看着孩子们犹如外星生物般成长，确实不是件容易的事，但请记住，失望本身就是成长的一部分，何况你其实也希望他们为自己规划的生活多姿多彩，真正享受自己完美的生活！
They’ll choose to back up themselves and they’ll fall in the same way you did, get up and try again. After all, weren’t you actually planning them to be independent, being those who work their approach through life with happiness. What you want is what they’re currently doing: trying to make themselves happy.
他们会无所畏惧的挺自己，当他们陷入曾经和你一样的困境时，当然也会如你一样，勇敢的站起来再拼一次！毕竟，你终究还是希望他们成为独立的，能够为自己的幸福生活打拼的人。其实你所希望的，不就是他们此时正在做的：努力的，让自己幸福和快乐！
本文译自 Why Planning Your Child’s Future May Be Outdated，原载 www.lifehack.org
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